Downheregirl89's Blog

{January 30, 2012}   Some Scars Never Leave

I found out this morning that the church which I attend is now in mourning. Our Minister of music, died suddenly last night… Marc was very passionate about his job and was loved father and husband.Mr. Marc has a daughter who is in my sunday school class, I know personally what she is going though and about to go through over the next few years, because my own father died almost 17 yrs ago… the loss of one’s parent is not like the flu or mono or even cancer where your life is back to normal and your completely healed in a matter of days,weeks, months, or even years…some of the most insulting things that I’ve been told (or heard) over the years are things that many think will help someone who is grieving feel better.. to tell someone that “your loved one is in a better place” or that the loved one is “no longer in pain” belittles the person who is grieving and belittles their emotions… to tell someone who just lost a loved one that “God has a plan for this” or that “Maybe this was God’s way of preventing something” is a slap to the face. People sometimes blame God for taking their loved on too soon and so may not like being told that they should be thanking God at this point in their life. Even something as innocent as “time will heal your wounds” is  the wrong thing to say, because yes time can and does mute the pain and people learn to cope but the loss of a parent is not something that ever goes away completely, it is a scar that will be carried the rest of their  lives… so if someone you know has lost a parent until you go through the same loss, rethink what you plan to say because it may come across wrong and cause more pain to an already painful ordeal.


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