Downheregirl89's Blog

{December 10, 2010}   another year smarter another year dumber

as a few of you know this birthday was not the best, my cell phone was stolen on campus and I ended up with a sinus infect causing me to go to bed that night w/ a 102 fever. however I’m feeling better now and can reflect on this past year with a bit more clearly

this year has brought more lessons in life. I have learned to always have paper trail when dealing with important issues.this has been taught to me by none other that the worst school on the planet, Pensacola state college. it is by having this paper trail that makes them less likely to resend on what they told me in the first place.

 I have also learned that God’s plans make no sense whatsoever in this world. for instance I have been to Tennessee many times in my life and each time I go I fall more madly in love with its God-given beauty. I have no way of explaining this more other than it is some deep-seated gut feeling. I’m learning to trust God more and more each day. it’s one thing to know that God is real and another to trust him. I’m not sure why God has chosen me to give me the ability to act and play music, or why he continues to allow me to win these various modeling/talent competitions, many a days I think he has chosen the wrong girl for the job.

there have been days this year when trusting God has been…difficult to say the least. the days when my inability to help those I love and care about have cast doubts as to my effectiveness not only as a christian but as a human. days when I have worried about whether the basic needs of my mother and I would be able to be met through our different paychecks, God as his word says has never left us, he has kept us feed and clothed just as he has taken care of the sparrows.

 this year God has been leading me through the book of Psalms, each time that I have doubted, been afraid and questioned his judgement a chapter in psalms would pop into my head, these last few nights it has been Psalms 57.

I look forward to this up and coming year and if I don’t make it back here in time, I wish everyone a very merry christmas and a wonderful (and hopefully warm) new year.


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